Bad Covers and Silly Titles

Once in a while, while perusing your local library, or bookstore, you may come across something which earns a loud snort and a big “wtf?” or an “OMG-Ican’tbelievetheypublishedthis.” This is my collection, and this is where I will be posting them. I will admit right now that there is a slim to nil chance that I will read and/or review most of these. It may change at some point, but for now, let’s just stick with slim-to-nil.

Click the “read more” to see the covers and have some laughs.

First up, we have Pride and Prejudice, the Marvel Graphic-Novel Adaptation, for people who cannot be bothered to actually read the book. The cover is what got me, rather than the concept (I have seen many works of literature turned into great graphic novels). It looks like a bad cosmo cover, and I don’t appreciate them mutilating Austen’s work to sell to pre-teen girls who can’t even begin to grasp the horror they hold in their hands.

According to the Amazon.com reviews, it is not as horrible as it might have been, and is actually handled fairly well, but I’m not inclined to agree, considering the cover.

Next, we have Prada and Prejudice. It is apparently a young-adult preteen girl novel about a girl who is transported back in time because she can’t walk in Prada. She’s the untraditional American surrounded by British nobles, and she of course stirs up their lives to create something special which they never would have experienced otherwise. And of course, she falls in love with someone from the era (because no silly teen book is complete without romance) The reviews are (again) not terrible, but it comes across as a terrible book. (Perhaps I will have to find some time to read this one, actually)

So, after two silly Austen ripoffs, we’re going to look at Generation Dead. Apparently, Zombies are the hot new thing the past few years (actually, paranormal books in general seem to have gone mad and had a population explosion since Twilight got popular and they proved that it doesn’t take middle-aged women talking about rockstar vampires to draw an audience). Anyway, dead teenagers are coming back to life, and goth girls are attracted to said dead-teenagers. According to a lot of reviews this, too is a good book, but I hesitate to agree. I mean, a living girl is in love with a dead boy. Since when is necrophilia a good thing?? I suppose I may get around to checking it out from the library, if only because it does look like a laughably bad book.

Ok, so Vampirates is here because of the title, rather than the cover. I mean, who looks at a pirate novel and goes “Oh man, lets make them vampires!!!” And then, ya know, who does the navigation during the day if they are apparently the living, blood-sucking dead? I suppose there is some explanation for this, but I just don’t know what to think. Apparently twins are separated after their father dies, and they end up struggling to survive and learn the ways of two different ships. Of course the girl ends up surrounded by vampires, but it doesn’t end there, and is in fact stretched into an entire series.

OK, so after all these, we’re going to take a look at Hard and Fast, which has a terrible name for a romance novel. You do not want your men to be fast if you’re going to be writing smut about them, now do you? However, it (as with other books) gets good reviews. I feel a little concerned– as I go through and actually research these books I’ve been taking pictures of– because so many of these books seem to actually be somewhat good. Well, somewhat good, or really only reviewed by fans on Amazon.

Our next winner is a book which made me go “wtf” when I saw it on the shelves at Safeway. I took a picture of it with my cellphone and promptly uploaded it to Facebook, stirring up much debate. It is a Harlequin Romance by the name of Capelli’s Captive Virgin, and makes me think of nothing but rape. I mean, Harlequin is not known for publishing things like that, and the synopsis suggests more that he is seducing her. However, I do not understand why a woman who is apparently looking desperately for her sister would agree to dash away to a Caribbean island for a week, and why he’s so interested in having a virgin in his bed; once you’re done with her, she’s hardly a virgin any longer.

Alright, that’s all for Part 1 of Bad Covers and Silly Titles. Stay Tuned for another sometime next month. And please, feel free to comment and share your own!