Bad Covers & Silly Titles II

I did not expect this little bit of mine to be quite as popular as it was. I mean, I realize that on some level, we all enjoy laughing at things, and there are a lot of silly books to laugh at, but the response I got was a lot stronger than I ever thought I’d receive. So now, with that bit of “oh my goodness how did I discover something popular” out of the way, let’s proceed with our second installment of Bad Covers & Silly Titles, a series I hope to post an addition to monthly.

First up, we’ve got These Boots are Made for Stalking, which is here more because of the name than the cover. It’s apparently book #12 in a series about… uhh… middle school girls. Other titles in the series are: P.S. I Loathe You, Boys R Us, Bratfest at Tiffany’s, Dial L for Loser, and It’s Not Easy Being Mean(to name a few). Every single one is a spinoff title from someone else’s work. Now, “The Clique” does not seem like a completely horrible series– though in middle school I recall being taught that cliques were bad and alienated other girls and we really should be less bratty and more accepting. But then, spoiled-brat culture has really taken off, what with girls like Paris Hilton being famous for being awful and making the news in a positive light, how can we expect girls to want to be something positive?

I remember reading Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging when I was in middle school because, well, it’s lime green and has an excellent cover. I mean, really excellent. It was then followed with other tales of Georgia Nicholson; On the Bright Side, I’m now the Girlfriend of a Sex GodKnocked out by my Nunga-Nungas, and Dancing in my Nuddy Pants (to name a few). I mean, really, with titles like that and a story that had us all cackling in the back of Spanish while we tried to pretend to Senora that we were actually studying for the upcoming test, it’s a fabulous series for middle school girls– way better than that “Clique” nonsense. Despite the fact that it is full of what can only be described as “British Humor,” it does appeal to American teens. (Amazon identifies unique phrases in the book as: “nippy noodles”, “sacre bloody bleu” and “snogging scale”, again, to name only a few).

Since I’ve actually been trying to find bad covers on the bookshelves recently, I decided to hit the grocery store periodical aisle, because really, that’s where you find the truly amazing bodice-rippers* and other excellent titles. It’s where I came across Eighth Grade Bites & Ninth Grade Slays, which are here because not only are the covers a bit silly, and the titles fun, but because the cover does not even mention the title of the book. No, you have to turn it over to where the blurb should be on the back. Aside from that, his father was a vampire. Yes, you read it right– vampires can breed. I mean, I know Twilight taught us that they were sparkly and could breed, but that was a terrible depiction of vampires anyway. As far as I knew, being undead meant that you had undead sperm at best– which could hardly be compatible with living eggs. (Why do I always find myself pondering strange things about books which really aren’t worth that level of thought?)

Last weekend, I stopped at Starbucks before work and came across a shelf full of Harlequin romance novels. Of course, Harlequin is nearly always a barrel of laughs– I’m sure there are plenty of women who enjoy the escape these books offer, but I am not one of them, so instead I laugh at them. We’ve got The Baby Album— in which a single mother refuses to be a single mother and seduces her next door neighbor. Then there’s A Daughter’s Trust, which makes me think of incest**, but is apparently really about a man who wants to keep his mother away from his sister’s baby. Or something. They’re both “superromance”– though I’m not sure what makes them so “super”. Our last “superromance” for the day is also a “Suddenly a Parent” book– that’s right, in Match made in Court, someone suddenly becomes a mommy. Oh, wait, I take that back. We’ve also got What the Librarian Did— Amazon led me to it. There’s a librarian about to get it on (with a bad-boy… you can tell because he has a tattoo) in the library and “She’s got a secret that’s long overdue”… really? I did not know secrets come with due dates. Finally, a “non Harlequin” book (though it is from the Silhouette collection, which is a Harlequin Label) is Pride and Pregnancy, a “Babies Inc.” novel (though, as I was searching for it, I found one you do need to see: Pride & a Pregnancy Secret)

To step away from the Harlequin (and Silhouette) books– because it’s really so easy, since they set the romance cliche– we’ve got another Starbucks bookshelf find– Outbreak. Big scared eyes and a huge hypodermic needle? I think if I were a doctor, I’d have this sitting in my office just to torment my patients. (But then, I’m a bit evil like that).

Confessions of a Rebel Debutante: a memoir is firmly in the “funny titles” cateogry, and it seems like an entertaining read, despite being called “ephemeral”. I would very much like to know what the reviewer thought a book was– it does not seem “ephemeral” as a medium– I suppose the effect was more that there was little punch. That’s alright though, it has a fun title. (Though I don’t know why so many books must say “a novel” or “a memoir” or “a book” or something equally obvious about what they are)

The Girl who Chased the Moon however, is here because it has such a cool cover– though it seems a lot like Chasing Redbird– with such a strange title. It was the strange title which grabbed my attention, and that is why it made this list– though in the strictest sense it doesn’t qualify.

And that, my friends, wraps up this particular installment of Bad Covers & Silly Titles. (We’ll see another installment next month!)


* You know what I mean; the romance novels where her heaving breasts are hanging out of a torn/unlaced bodice against a man who could pass for a Fabio look-alike.

** I know, it’s a strange jump, but the title makes me think of a father betraying her trust and well… there are only a few book-worthy ways to do that, ya know?

For part one, click here.


Filed under Humor, Not a Book Review

2 responses to “Bad Covers & Silly Titles II

  1. This a great idea. I was at the bookstore a couple weeks ago and came across a hilarious book title and cover. It seems that romance novels take the cake for nutty titles:
    The Vampire and the Virgin

    Happy Reading!


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